Zimbabwe Mission

We have spent four days in Cape Town, but only now have we begun to relax fully. Today we went to a café at the waterfront and just enjoyed sitting with a coffee and reading a book. These small things we cannot do in Zimbabwe. I cannot simply go out anywhere I want, because some parts of Harare are out of bounds. I cannot simply take a bike ride to town in fear my bike would be stolen. I cannot carry much money around with me in fear of it being stolen.

I am feeling rather tired and sick even of the fact that everywhere I go in Zimbabwe I am stared at for being white. I am constantly viewed as a different person. People automatically think that I have money and that I am rich because I am white. This really gets me down and makes me tired. I get really upset at the indirect racism that there is, even in South Africa too. I have been called here to help orphans, not challenge the racism, but I do feel that this has a huge effect on my work here. People automatically think that being white means that I don’t understand the culture here. There are things that Shona people think a white man would never understand simply because he is not Shona. I totally disagree with this! Visitors to the country see the culture for its face value and usually for what it really is. Visitors to the culture don’t have the emotional attachment that those who have grown up in it have. For example, in England, not many would admit that we are actually an unhappy country wrapped up in our own little worlds, but visitors to the country would say the opposite. Of course, the English then become defensive and say that only English people could truly understand. A culture is judged by its onlookers. Some things in culture may seem ‘wrong’ or ‘immoral’ but in another culture they are fine. In Zimbabwe the role of women is very different to that in England, or most other places in the West. However, this is not a bad thing at all, the Shona women are generally happy about their role and their equality. It is just my different upbringing, different country and understanding that I have from England that make it seem ‘wrong’. What I have problems with is the abuse that comes because of the Shona men’s understanding of women (or misunderstanding). Women are seen as less as men and because of this are often abused. A man feels that he can have sex with his wife whenever he feels it OK, even if his wife says no. When confronted with the problem, the attitude that Shona men have to me is that because I am not Shona, I will never understand the problem and therefore cannot help.

I recently went on a counselling course and several trainee priests attended. Actually I came away form the course more concerned than ever before. These priests will have to minister to both black and white Anglicans, both black and white Zimbabweans. However, their attitudes to the way they think white people understand their culture is terrible, considering God does not fit to culture. In counselling there is a big policy of confidentiality and many of the Shona on the course simply could not understand this. The general view of sharing problems is simply not undertaken. If someone does something wrong in their community then they believe in telling everyone about the situation in order to bring punishment. I’m not saying that this is wrong, but simply it is not my culture. Charity work that involve law and counselling work that involves confidentiality override whatever have gone before, and this is for the sake of all involved, not to attack or change the culture.

I have been lay-counselling a young ‘boy’ from another orphanage. Last week he openly told me he was gay. I was the first person that he has ever told. Now in Shona culture the belief would be to tell everyone in the orphanage about him to disgrace him so he would turn from homosexuality, which of course is illegal in Zimbabwe, and he certainly would come under attack in so many different ways. This is where I have my problems. In counselling him, I promised not to discuss anything with anyone.

Actually this ‘confession’ moved me to tears. This boy for so many years has been keeping his sexuality at bay and finally he had someone who wanted to listen to him and still loved him in the same way afterwards. For the first time, someone had told him that God still loved him – very much! I feel for this boy. He has to find a way to express his sexuality in a culture that totally denies that this exists at all. Some Shona actually believe that no Shona person is gay! Listening to this young boy was probably the greatest day I have had in Zimbabwe so far. It was so liberating and I just felt God’s presence all the way through – I felt God in him, which was the first time since I saw Jesus in Highfield, Harare last August.

I guess I am upset because this is not my culture. However, I see a world that still doesn’t treat men as equals, but still judges by colour, race, sexuality, rich or poor. Michael Meegan says that there is something in us that causes us to see others as lesser (All will be well). Shona culture is teaching me, even thought by its injustices, to see everyone as equal. It is a lesson that will take years to teach me I’m sure and one that is coming at a cost to who I am. I hate the injustices I see in culture and within everyday life, but these little things are teaching me and so many others who disagree with them, a lesson about who we really are. When God looks at us, he looks through culture and walls, to who we really are.